The alarm for 7:00am goes off. It sounds like there’s a skinny tenor right by my bed warbling soft la la las, and while I’m still unaware that this is literally my wake up call, I convince myself that he actually sounds pretty good – UNTIL those la la las crescendo and I can no longer hear my thoughts. I grab the phone in a rush, as though the next la la la will set off a timed bomb. Fumbling between “snooze” and “dismiss,” I press one whose function I’m not entirely sure of, but after 5, 10 minutes pass without the sweet tenor in my ear, all I care about is how much more sleep I can get away with.
My second attempt at waking up is natural, and it’s 1, 2, or even 3 hours later from the alarm. I grab my phone, look at the message notification that my service provider has sent me (morning to you too, sweetheart xoxo), and go online to see what’s trending on the socials. Waste a few minutes there, exhaust all the apps on my phone that were maybe intended for time wasting, and perhaps for reasons to stay in bed even when I’m already up. The bed is not even that cozy. I gave up trying to find a comfortable head position on the pillow, so it’s just directly on the mattress now.
I hear some chatter, some footsteps, some doors closing and opening, some dogs barking, some plates clanging, some birds tweeting, some water running, some monkeys thudding on the roof, and I think to myself, the world has awoken, and you need to, too. But I still stay there, head perpendicular to the ceiling, staring up at the phone.
I know if I don’t get up now, I might not bathe, definitely won’t brush my teeth, won’t talk to my dad about that issue I’ve been meaning to settle for 2 months now, same with finishing those 2 projects I started at the beginning of the year. I’m not going to exercise, walk those dogs, or even go to the bible study meeting tonight. Instead I visualize myself doing all these things, and doing them pretty well. But in reality, maybe I get to the bathing part, maybe I do half of the homework for bible study, but I know this day is not going to be productive whatsoever. I can’t even give myself some credit for making it outside to greet the dogs.
I finally toss the sheets over the bed and get up to splash water on my face. I know tomorrow’s another day, and I have the chance to either do this all over again – or not.